The Bachelor
by SkyBloodFox
Summary: Due to a misunderstanding with Granny Smith, Big Mac now has to get married, but when all of Equestria turns out to ask for Big Mac in marriage, who will he pick?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own My Little Pony: Friend is Magic or any characters associated with it.

This is part 1 of a multi-chapter story, so I'm just feeling my way through here.

Don't forget to review!

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**The Bachelor**

Big Mac was by no means a pony of wealth and status. He had the Apple farm, of course, handed down to from his great-grandfather, to his grandfather, to his father, to him. It was a hard life that left Big Mac's muscles aching as he unhooked his yoke at the end of each day and made him glad when he could climb into a bathtub filled with hot water by Granny Smith. But would he change it if he could? Would he have become something different? Maybe working in Ponyville, or Canterlot? When he had been a colt, he'd dream of becoming one of Princesses Celestia's famous royal guards but that was just that: a dream. He had never had the chance like Applejack to go to Manehattan to live with their wealthy aunt and uncles, the Oranges, and if he would, would he have gone?

Big Mac paused on that thought as he unhitched his yoke, placing it next to the front door of the house.

No.

It would have been wrong to have left Granny Smith by herself, and the farm needed people to take care of it. It had been a gift from Princess Celestia herself and to walk away from that would have been more shameful then anything Big Mac could think of. And besides, he reckons the city would have driven him crazy.

Big Mac shook himself, trying to ease the heavy pain in his left shoulder. If it didn't get any better, he would need to go to the hospital where the smells, as he remembered when Apple Bloom had been born, would drive him mad.

Big Mac smiled.

Apparently a number of things would drive him crazy.

"What'cha been doin' out here sweetie?" Granny Smith asked, pulling him from his thoughts. She was standing in front of the door, the long years of life and kindness etched upon her face.

"Thinkin' is all," Big Mac said, walking into the house as Granny stepped aside. He could see the kettles on the wood stove starting to scream as the water boiled. Big Mac visibly relaxed upon seeing them. Granny Smith clucked her tongue, closing the door and walking over to the stove.

"Thinkin' can be dangerous," Granny Smith said, wrapping a towel around the handles and bringing them to the metallic bathtub that she had dragged into the middle of the kitchen.

"Eeyup,"

"Were you thinkin' about a girl?" Granny Smith asked, pouring a second kettle of water into the bathtub. Steam was filling the air of the kitchen. It made Big Mac's throat tickle.

"Nnnope,"

Granny Smith clucked her tongue again.

"Ya'know… maybe ya'll start thinking about settling down, making some fillies," Granny Smith said as Big Mac lifted a foot and tentatively placed it in the boiling, steaming water. He grimaced as it burned his hoof.

This wasn't the first time Granny Smith had brought up marriage.

"Now Granny, you know better then to start on that," Big Mac said, moving to the side as Granny poured in a kettle of cold water from the pump.

"There are lots of ponies in town, why, I can remember when your grandpa first asked me out to walk to town, I was a wee filly of fourteen…"

Big Mac sighed as he stared at the bath longingly.

This could take a while.

"And you're grandpa, why he was as strong as an ox, that's where you get your strength from, sweetie,"

"Eeyup,"

"And while we were walkin' to town, we were harassed by a pack of fierce timberwolves,"

"Eeyup,"

"And your grandpa, why, he got in there and kicked off all them timberwolves, scaring them away. I ain't been so scared since I had been a filly and had wandered into Everfree Forest lookin' for apples,"

"Eeyup,"

"But I knew at that moment, that I'd marry that pony, and in six months, we were married proper." Granny Smith finished; a far away look in her eyes.

"Eeyup,"

Granny smith glanced at Big Mac and smiled.

"Now don't you worry nuthin, I know you and Applejack are busy workin' them fields, so you just leave the wife findin' up to me."

Big Mac stared at granny smith, his eyes wide.

"Granny, you don't need to—"

"Oh don't worry, sweetie, after all, it is tradition. Now get in your bathtub," Granny Smith said, pouring the last kettle of cold water into the tub and turning back to the stove. He could smell apple sauce start to cook and Big Mac resisted the urge to groan as he stepped into the bathtub and sank into the water and pushed aside Granny's idea of marriage.

She'd probably change her mind at least six times before bedtime, and then forget all about this conversation by morning.

At least, that was what he hoped.

When morning came, however, everything was different.

Apple Bloom was sitting at the table covered with letters nearly as tall as the ceiling, a wide grin on her face as Big Mac stumbled into the room.

Uh oh.

"Bloom?" Big Mac asked uncertainly, the ache in his shoulder worse then it had been last night. And then he spied it.

The Foal Free Press was folded neatly next to her.

"Bloom?" Big Mac asked, again, feeling panic bubble in his throat as Apple Bloom continued to grin. She said nothing. He looked at the front of the paper.

There was a picture of him preparing for the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, decked out in goggles, a determined look on his face. Above the picture in bold letters was written 'Most Eligible Bachelor of Equestria Seeks Wife'.

"Granny Smith said we needed to find you a wife, so we're gonna find you a wife!" Apple Bloom chirped just as Applejack kicked the door open and slammed it shut. There was a throng of mares outside all clamoring to get in. Applejack marched over to Big Mac, pressing her forehead to his.

"You just _had_ to ask Granny Smith to get married, you just had too!" Applejack spat. "There's a line up of ponies from here to Canterlot building all day, and they want to marry you! How am I supposed to run a farm when we've got so many dang people here!?"

Big Mac stared at Applejack while Apple Bloom bounced around the two of them.

"We're gonna have a wedding, we're gonna have a wedding!" Apple Bloom cried.

Big Mac glanced behind Applejack, to the lace covered window, and saw the line, and all the mares chattering excitedly to one another. He looked again at the pile of letters; he would hazard a guess were marriage proposals,

Big Mac stepped back, then another step back, then another, and raced upstairs and back to his room, locking the door and crawling underneath his bed, praying that this was just a bad dream and he would wake up _soon_.

"Now don't take too long, sweetie, there's a couple of nice girls just waitin' to meet'cha," Granny Smith called from the other side of the door, and Big Mac whimpered in fear.

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Okay, this started out completely differently, but then I had this idea, and then that idea held me hostage so this is the result.

Comments? Suggestions? Please review!


	2. Choices, choices

Hi guys! Thank you everyone for all the wonderful reviews! I had no idea what I was getting into when I wrote the first chapter (Honestly I had noooooo idea how many ponies are in the show, I was going through the wikipage and the ponies just doen't seem to end!), but you guys seem to like the way its going so I'll keep on writing!

Disclaimers: I don't own my little pony: friendship is magic.

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**Choices, choices... (Ch2)**

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Big Mac had only managed to hide for an hour before Applejack kicked down his door. And by kick down she actually kicked it off its hinges and across the room.

"Get out here you home wrecker!" Applejack snapped and Big Mac poked his head out from under the edge of his bed.

"Nnnope,"

Applejack snarled, her lip rising. "If ya'll don't get out from under there then I'll haft drag you out!"

"Filthy Rich is here! Filthy Rich is here!" Apple Bloom sang, hopping into the bed room. She paused when she saw Big Mac peeking out from under his bed. "Why are you under the bed?"

"What does Filthy Rich want?" Big Mac asked, worriedly. All the commotion and the mares outside was sure to disrupt production, maybe Filthy was concerned about the harvest.

"He wants to talk about your marriage," Apple Bloom quipped and Applejack took Big Mac's stunned silence to kick off his bed. Big Mac cowered beneath Applejack's furious stare.

"Ya go down there and ya talk to filthy rich and then you get this mess sorted so we can get on with our lives!"

Big Mac sighed.

He stood up, his head bowed, and walked past Applejack and Apple Bloom, out of his room, and down the stairs. In the kitchen he saw Filthy Rich sitting at the table talking with Granny Smith. The piles of letters had been pushed to a corner of the room.

"There ya are, sweetie, we were just talking about you," Granny Smith said as Big Mac went to stand beside her. "Now, you must be starvin', I haven't made you nuthin' to eat, what with being excited about the days' events." Granny said leaving the table for the woodstove. Her soft humming filled the air as Big Mac focused on Filthy Rich. The stallion looked exhausted, actually, he always looked exhausted with bags under his eyes.

"Big Mac, I have a proposal,"

"Nnnope," Big Mac said.

Filthy looked started.

"But you haven't even heard me out," Filthy urged and Big Mac shook his head.

"Nnnope, no offense, but I'm not marrying you Mr. Rich,"

Filthy Rich stared then tipped his head back, laughing. "I take no offense, but that wasn't what I had planned. I was actually thinking of a marriage between you and my girl, Diamond Tiara."

Granny Smith clucked her tongue, placing a bowl apple sauce in front of Big Mac. "Now, now, Filthy, I'd like to see grandchildren before I go and join my parents. You're girl is just too young."

Big Mac looked down at the bowl of apple sauce.

Filthy Rich looked resigned. "Of course Granny. Well then, I'll see myself out. Thank you again for the apple sauce," He smiled, walking to the door and opening it, the screaming of the mares filling the small kitchen. Filthy closed the door behind him.

Applejack and Apple Bloom both walked into the kitchen, their eyes wide.

"Did…. Did Filthy rich just try and get you to marry diamond?" Apple Bloom asked, unsure.

"Eeeyup,"

"That would be awesome! Why did you say no?" Apple Bloom asked, hopping around the kitchen table.

"'Cuz she just ain't old enough sweetie," Granny Smith said. She looked to Applejack. "Now darling', can you go tell those mares outside that we won't be accepting no mares under fifteen?"

Applejack looked stunned and nodded, heading outside. Moments later Big Mac could hear her screaming at the top of her lungs for those under fifteen to get off farm land. There were cries of disappointment and Applejack came in moments later.

"There were folks bringin' lil'fillies still in diapers to betroth you to them! Betrothing! Can ya imagine?"

"Nnnope," Big Mac said, sitting back on his haunches. Maybe some downtime would let his shoulder heal.

Granny Smith patted Big Mac's hoof. "Now don't you get yourself concerned, Ol'Granny will handle this."

Applejack looked to Big Mac sympathetically.

"Don't worry, Mac, we'll fix this. I promise."

Big Mac nodded wordlessly and took the apple sauce, quickly eating it. He hadn't realized he had been so hungry, but he had done a lot that morning, before Applejack and Bloom woke up, and the apple sauce tasted so good and—

"I am the great and powerful Trixie!"

In that instant, two things happened.

The first was that white smoke poured in from the chimney into the kitchen, blinding everybody, and causing everyone to start coughing.

The second was that Applejack, Big Mac, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith fled the house in order to escape the smoke and were immediately enveloped by screaming mares.

The third thing, not technically counted because it was just outside Big Mac's eyesight was that a pony with an azure coloured coat and dark violet eyes wearing a star covered cape and pointed, if not slightly curled over cap, appeared at the doorway of the house looking confused and triumphant.

Sorta like what Apple Bloom looked like when she finally managed to convince Big Mac to tell her where fillies come from.

That's right.

Unfortunately, that story was for another time, and Big Mac was surrounded by cooing mares wearing so much perfume it was making his head spin.

"In tarnation's, ya'll get back before I show you mares why we Apples are so dang famous for our kickin'!" Applejack roared and the mares parted. Applejack was at Big Mac's side in a moment, helping him to stand.

"What just happened?" Big Mac asked, glancing at the mares who not only were wearing perfume, but cloaks of different designs and colours, and ornate headdresses. He blinked at one, a pretty brown unicorn with coco powder coat, snow white mane and white tipped hooves. Her grey eyes widened before ducking her head, giggling and blushing. She was immediately shoved aside by unicorn mare, with black mane, coat, and red tips on her toes who was wearing the most godawful tweed green cloak covered with white ducks.

Applejack was about to speak when there was another poof of smoke by the house, catching everyone's attention, and standing on the tip of the pointed roof was the same azure coloured pony.

"Ahem, I am the great and powerful Trixie! I challenge all of the mares of Equestria for the hand of Big Mac!" Trixie bellowed.

"Not her again," Applejack groaned, hanging her head.

"Then all of Equestria challenges you for the place of Big Mac, the gentlest of all Apples." Came over the head of the mares who parted as a mare with a white and grey striped coat and turquoise eyes came into view.

Big Mac was stunned. He had never seen her before. She was so different from all the other ponies he had seen.

"Oh Zecora, am I glad to see you!" Applejack said as Zecora walked to her and Big Mac.

Zecora stood before Big Mac, fierce determination on her face. "Never worry, my sweetest of apples, for I shall rid this bringer of smoke from your sweet orchard and bring us peace."

Applejack hung her head. Again.

Zecora looked to Trixie and stormed towards the house.

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Sorry that's it guys, I'll try and update at least once a week!

Don't forget to review!


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